spring is here…kara’s birthday

This is the first time that I have been brave enough to leave a thought/message here, but not the first time I’ve visited Kara’s site. I think about Kara often. So often in fact that i wonder if she is sneaking messages to me. She always was a mischievious one 😉 I first met Kara when we were both about 5 years-old. She was my rambuncious, dare devil neighbor who captivated me from day one. Even in my meager 5 years on the planet, I knew she was special. It was as if she knew something that no one else did. She was the embodiment of spirit and light. It was no wonder I gravitated toward her like a moth to the flame. We grew up and shared friends, fights, and ultimately went on our paths from high school as occasional acquaintances. I like to think that Kara always held a place in her heart for me, as I did for her. She sure left big impression, like a footprint in which I am constantly stepping. Here’s where it gets a little weird… I dream of Kara often. Often being about once a month. She comes and goes through my dreams like a friendly companion sharing a quiet moment with me. At the time of Kara’s passing, I had even more frequent dreams of her. Maybe because I was processing the senselessness of it all, or maybe because she was visiting me and all the others who needed to see her again. Anyway, in all of my dreams where Kara comes to hang out, she is always comforting me in some way. Sometimes she is telling me not to worry so much about something not worth worrying about. Sometimes she is easing my fears about death and dying. Sometimes she is just there, quiet and still and calm. But the dreams that I can’t escape are the ones where she has told me to tell her family and friends that she’s loves them, she’s just fine, everything is wonderful, and not to be sad. I’ve only ever told my husband of my dreams of Kara, and in particular this message that she is asking me to convey because I have always thought, “Who am I to tell these people this?” I still don’t have an answer for that, but for some reason I just feel it’s time to get it out there. There, Kara, I finally did it. Yesterday I had a moment where I realized it was Kara’s birthday. When we were little, one of the first things I remember about Kara is a conversation we had about our birthdays. She told me hers was on the first day of Spring. I remember thinking, “Of course!” She was everything that Spring was: green, beautiful, blooming, bursting with life, springing with spirit. Happy Birthday, Kara. Sorry it took me so long…