Time

Wow. It’s strange to think of all the time that has gone by. So many things have happened to so many people in Kara’s life: people have been married, started jobs and ended jobs, given birth, moved cities… Sometimes I try to understand what part of all of this is considered fate and destiny, and what is not. And that’s when I think of Kara. The question “why” is often overused, but never accurately answered. I don’t know if it ever will be. We all have our way of translating tragedy into real life words. We use it to help ourselves cope. And six years later, I selfishly use Kara to remind myself to enjoy my life. I still keep a picture of Kara by my bed, and I glance at it whenever I need an emotional boost. Sometimes I feel corrupt, as if I’m taking something away from how pure and special she was just for my own benefit. But that’s the way she affected me; she was always around to help. I believe that in life, to a certain extent, there are things that we can control, and things that are out of our hands. I highly doubt that Kara would have decided to leave us if she had the choice, but she did decide to touch us while she was here. That was her call, all her. I hope that someday I can make the decision to reach people the way she reached me. I miss her so much.